Mindset Shifts for Success: Lance Bachmann and Keith Mercurio

• Keith Mercurio on LinkedIn
• SeviceTitan Website
• Lance Bachmann on LinkedIn
• LB Capital on LinkedIn
• LB Capital Website

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Keith Mercurio Automated Transcript

[00:00:00] Lance:  Hey, everyone. Thank you for joining us today. I wanna give a quick shout out to our sponsors, ServiceTitan and Rola, our technology of choice to helping us scale and grow our business and making sure all of our viewers have the technology to scale their business. So when they wanna sell it, they’re able to. I’m sitting here with my friend, Keith. You know, Keith, as I’ve gotten to know you and our relationship is really gotten closer, probably last 6 months, 4 months. Right? The one thing I’ll say is you’re probably the most truest, most vulnerable person I’ve met that’s sincere. Like, you’re just not afraid and you’re a straight shooter. Trust me. I know. Um, you know, uh, it’s where do you think you get that from? Like, I I I gotta ask the question because you got people crying in there. I mean, it’s a roofing conference. These guys don’t cry. People are crying. Right? I mean but you’re just, like, hey. This is who I am at this point. Where does that come from?

[00:01:00] Keith:  Yeah. So that out of anything that I think you could say to me or about me, that probably means the most. That’s, like, the highest compliment that I would have wanted to achieve. And, like, I just wrote a post about this today. You know, 10 years ago at 31 years old and I started going down this personal development journey, the first and most painful discovery was how totally inauthentic I was. And I had always wanted to be real and authentic and, you know, I mean, of course, like, I think we all probably strive at some level to be, you know, a true version of ourselves. But I had so many insecurities. I had so many modes of manipulation and coercion and flattery and bribery and all these different ways that I got what I wanted in life. And I started going through some programs and had some really amazing mentors who just, like they just called me out and and helped me realize that not just me, but all human beings. Like, what we’re always looking to get something.

[00:02:03] Lance:  Yeah.

[00:02:04] Keith:  Every interaction, every every every relationship, every every moment, you know, I was just challenged to be like, okay. What are you getting out of this? Right? And, of course, my 1st lay of layer of consciousness about my intentions were like, no. I’m just, are you complimenting that person? I want them to feel good. No, dude. You want to make them feel good so that they see you in a favorable way. Oh, fuck. Like, that’s true. Like, that’s actually where that motive came from. You know? Hey. Why are you, you know, why are you, um, you know, why are you so nice to people? Well, it’s the right way to be in the world. No. You’re nice to people so that people think you’re nice. You’re nice to people so you can get more out of them, so you can get them to do things you want. And I and and I had this incredible mentor, a number of them along the way, but one of them, you know, her her name was Kathy Elliott, and she just pointed out to me. She’s like, dude, you need to become authentic in your inauthenticity and start accepting that when you go up on that stage, you’re not there for them. You’re there for you. When you coach people, you’re not doing it for them. You’re doing it for you. And it was like this painful, beautiful discovery that, like, oh, yeah. I really am in all of this for me. And somehow, Lance, like, the minute I accepted that, realist version of myself. And, like, somehow in that, weirdly enough, it actually did become for other people about them, and they got to experience it. And so that like, that’s my best answer. Like, 10 years of staring down and I do. I I’m I’m proud of the work that I’m willing to do on myself, but, like, staring down my darkest, ugliest parts of myself and acknowledging them as true and real.

[00:03:54] Lance:  You know, I I know you on a personal level now, I think, by other than and you know me definitely more than most people. Right? Yeah. You said something the other day to me about pass. Right? I said you yeah. I told you point blank. I don’t leave my house because I don’t wanna let my wife down. You know? I said, I don’t go out and drink anymore because I don’t wanna let my wife down. Like, all this shit I did in the beginning. Right? And you’re like, well, there’s other people out there. And I’m like, no. There’s not. And, like, you aren’t being rude, and you’re like, uh, Lance, there are other people. And then he you don’t yes anyone, or most people woulda yesed me in that moment.

[00:04:38] Keith:  Mhmm. And I

[00:04:39] Lance:  know that because I’ve had that conversation with a 100 fucking people now of why I don’t leave my farm. I get anxiety, as you know, to leave my farm. I get anxiety to leave my wife now because I don’t wanna make a mistake. Right? I’m so but you know that’s my biggest fear of

[00:04:51] Keith:  Yeah.

[00:04:51] Lance:  Losing my family. Right? It’s my only fear. Right? But no one else has ever said that to me. Yeah. There’s a group of guys out there who go out without drinking. There’s a group of guys that will go out there and cheat on their wives. She went yes to no one. Why is that? You just don’t give a shit, or you’re just like, hey. There’s no one else to tell you how it is. No, miss. You know? It’s like I know.

[00:05:10] Keith:  But I think you it makes me laugh the idea of not giving a shit. Like, I’m listening to Gary v today talk about not caring about other people’s opinions. Dude, I care about everyone’s opinion to me. I’m so anxious all the time about, like, do they like me? Do they like me? There was a moment in there, you know, when I I the kid literally answered his phone in the front row, like, towards the end of my talk, and I I let it go for, like, 60 seconds. And then I finally went down and asked him to hang up the phone. You know? And then I felt terrible because I was like, oh, no. Did I embarrass him? And it’s like most peep therapy would be like, fuck that kid. Like, what’s he doing on the phone or whatever?

[00:05:45] Lance:  But meanwhile, I’m sitting there,

[00:05:46] Keith:  and I’m like I’m like, was there a way I coulda handled that differently, done that? So I I say that to say there’s definitely no it’s not that I don’t give a fuck. It’s that I care so fucking much. And I care so like, the idea of letting you walk away from that conversation, believing that you’re gonna have to live an I a life in isolation without great friends to protect yourself as opposed to the recognition that the one thing that you absolutely can do and would be so deeply meaningful in your life would actually be to create 2 to 3 really close friendships of those brothers that wanna walk that same path with you and will actually hold you to a higher standard. I can’t let you walk away believing that’s not out there. Like, who the fuck would I be if I let you walk away? Like, that would be so cowardly of me to choose the easy yes to placate you instead of confronting you to show you that there is in fact something bigger and better for you. And so I think that’s that’s where that comes from, and it scares me to death when I have to do it. I don’t like confronting people. I don’t like challenging people. It because then I’m afraid the reason we don’t like confrontation as humans, we’re afraid the other person’s not gonna like us, and we’re not gonna be accepted back. And so

[00:07:04] Lance:  thought that when you said it. I you No.

[00:07:06] Keith:  I know you didn’t, but I’m saying that’s what we that’s how we’re wired. So you ask, like, why don’t I yes people? It’s because, like, I really, truly wanna be of love and, like, really, truly, like, find the courage to be the version of myself that doesn’t yes people just because of their status or that there’s something I could get from them.

[00:07:26] Lance:  You know, I got 2 questions so I don’t wanna take too much time. 1st of all, I got a few questions. I’m not gonna lie because I love talking to you.

[00:07:34] Keith:  Good.

[00:07:35] Lance:  What do you think about the 1st conference I put on?

[00:07:37] Keith:  Oh my god. Okay. So knowing that I don’t yes you

[00:07:40] Lance:  Yes. I know you’re not.

[00:07:42] Keith:  So So there’s a good setup. Yeah. Um, it’s fucking amazing. Like, this was so much more and better and better done than I ever expected. I really. You’re not a conference guy. You don’t throw I do of I do events for a living. I did not anticipate this level of coordination, consideration, quality, nor did I have any anticipation of how incredible that audience would be too. So the people you’re attracting are amazing as well. Who’s who’s, uh, like, who is it that I got all the emails from? Matt.

[00:08:18] Lance:  He’s a beast.

[00:08:19] Keith:  So Matt so first of all, Matt’s work that I’ve never been so beautifully communicated with in advance of a conference in my life, cared for, I mean, everything. As a speaker, I feel like a a I feel like a star here. I I like, I I truly believe you guys treated me the same way you treated Gary v and the same way you treated Bradley, and, like, that meant the world to me. I mean, I really and I’m telling you, it made me wanna perform at an even higher level for you, and that’s that says a lot. That’s really important. Um, your guy, Kai, like, just through his text messages, I said very few people can actually connote, like, genuine kindness through text. That’s how I met him first, and I felt that from him. Great guy. Unbelievable. And still, like, said what needed to be said. Right? He’s not just doing it to be nice. He’s both kind and committed to the ideal outcome. Really impressive stuff. So and then, you know, the just the people you’ve brought around you, super impressive. I I’ve this is been amazing. I’m really grateful I got to do this.

[00:09:23] Lance:  I’m gonna ask you 1 question, and I wanna leave it with this. You don’t do you wanna know the defining moment when you caught my attention?

[00:09:34] Keith:  Sure. I would love to. It’s about it’s about me. This is my favorite topic. Yeah.

[00:09:38] Lance:  So I never told you this.

[00:09:40] Keith:  Okay. We talked

[00:09:41] Lance:  for hours now.

[00:09:43] Keith:  Yeah.

[00:09:44] Lance:  The day you talked about your father and how you thought about him,

[00:09:48] Keith:  I was

[00:09:48] Lance:  like, that’s what I want

[00:09:49] Keith:  my son to think of me. Oh.

[00:09:53] Lance:  I think I want it life if I get that. From the bottom of my heart, my sons say what you said about you were talking. I want it like, fuck the money. Fuck everything else. I want it. That’s when you caught my attention. I swear to god.

[00:10:08] Keith:  That is so beautiful, man. That is gorgeous. Well,

[00:10:16] Lance:  I’m I’m just telling you.

[00:10:18] Keith:  Dude, that’s so great.

[00:10:19] Lance:  Friend. I never told you that. We’ve been we’ve been hours together talking about my shit. Right? I want to let you know why I

[00:10:27] Keith:  trusted you and why

[00:10:30] Lance:  you got my attention.

[00:10:31] Keith:  Dude, that’s so beautiful. And yeah. I mean, you know, my that’s you talk about, like, so much of, you know, what happens on that stage had like, were things that I had nothing to do with. Right? I I didn’t do anything to be tall. I didn’t do anything to have a deep voice. I didn’t do right? I didn’t do anything to have those things happen, and I didn’t do anything to have the dad that I have. Those were all just absolute gifts of the universe. But my dad always said, to those who much is given, much is expected. That was his favorite. He didn’t quote the Bible often, but that was his favorite reminder to me. And he always reminded me of that. Every time I wasn’t living into my best self, he said, Keith, you’ve been given so much, and you you therefore, you must give of yourself. And, um, so to get to tell his story is, like, the ultimate culmination of that. Right? Like, here I am getting to share who he was and why he was so inspiring as a dad, as a teacher. You know? I’ll share. I got a great story for you. So when when he was really sick with Alzheimer’s was when my mom died 2 years ago, and, um, I gave her eulogy. And her eulogy was my greatest work. It was a masterpiece. And it was I actually gave it to her on her deathbed. She got to hear her eulogy before she died. And then I gave it in the church, and, um, and my dad was completely dialed in for it. Alright? Despite the Alzheimer’s, she was completely dialed in. Like, remembered everything about it was totally present. And I sat down on the pew next to him, and, uh, he said it was our family priest, and he goes, um, he elbowed me, and he said, father Caponi’s gonna say something about your eulogy. And I said, no. He’s not that. You know, he would never do that. Sure enough, father Caponi came back, and he said, Keith, I don’t ever comment on the eulogy because it’s a eulogy, but that was the most beautiful eulogy I’ve ever heard. And the entire parish stood in a standing ovation. Catholic church. You’re a Catholic. Yeah. You ever seen a standing ovation at church?

[00:12:46] Lance:  No.

[00:12:47] Keith:  Alright. So I tell that story, 1, because I’m proud of it. I love to tell it. But 2, fast forward a couple of weeks. I’m living with dad as we’re trying to move him into assisted living and memory care. Right? And he says to me something about, you know, your mother’s eulogy and blah blah blah. And he said, when you give my eulogy. And I said, oh, well, dad, you have it in your will and testament that that, um, your directives that uncle Dick is gonna give you eulogy. And my dad looks at me. He goes, oh, no. Says, I want a standing ovation at my funeral. Alright. So fast forward 18 months, dad passes. But what he didn’t know was that at that time actually, he did know. He got to watch it once. I started telling his story as the closing portion of my keynote. Literally, it had happened for the first time at Pantheon 2 weeks before that or a month before, um, she and my mom had passed. Alright? And since that time, every single talk I’ve given telling that story, he’s gotten a standing ovation.

[00:13:52] Lance:  I love it.

[00:13:54] Keith:  So not only was his death as inspiring as anything I’ve ever seen in his life, he is still the ultimate teacher. When I make I mean, I know that what I do out there is very fucking cool, but I make no mistake that that standing ovation is for him. Um, and so, you know, it’s it’s an honor to tell his story. And the fact that he would be the reason that you sought me out is such a beautiful testament to him and an opportunity for me to live into what he’s asked me to, which is to use my gifts and give as much as I can with them. And it’ll be an honor to share with you what he taught and bestowed and and and see that translate into the to your son’s lives because it was the greatest gift I ever could have asked for.

[00:14:41] Lance:  I just thought I’d tell you that.

[00:14:42] Keith:  Okay. Well

[00:14:43] Lance:  That’s what caught me.

[00:14:44] Keith:  He knows

[00:14:44] Lance:  a day when I started, like, I was like, that guy gets it.

[00:14:50] Keith:  That’s amazing.

[00:14:51] Lance:  So I wanna thank you. I appreciate it. I love it, brother.

[00:14:54] Keith:  Love you too, Lance. Thank you for this,